How to give yourself a facial at home

How to Live Wild
by Clemmie Fraser with artwork by Michalis Christodoulou
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Rejecting conventional beauty treatments is a really wild thing to do. Here is a step-by-step guide to a lovely relaxing home facial

You will need:

A large pot of manuka honey, colloidal gold (no, I have no idea either… Ocado? Whole Foods? A jewellery shop? It’s particles of gold suspended in water, said to be good for you. I’ll take it), matcha powder, magnesium salts, coconut or olive oil, a wooden spoon, a ceramic bowl, some relaxing sounds (whale music/Gregorian chanting/Radio 4/The Very Best Of Barry Manilow – whatever works).

One

Turn on your Relaxing Music and run your bath adding two handfuls of magnesium salts to relax tired muscles. Do some deep, yogic breaths and don’t forget to light some candles. Maybe stick your face over the hot tap to get the steam opening pores in advance of your mask application.

Two

Cleanse your face. You could use your cleanser, but as this is a really wild, home facial experience then it is important to use something a bit messy and possibly organic. Go into your kitchen cupboard and rootle out your best extra virgin olive or coconut oil and massage a small amount into your face. Wash off with a warmed flannel or muslin cloth. A quick blast of the microwave should warm it up a treat.

Three

Now take your manuka honey. Scoop out about a teaspoon and smear a thin layer all over your face. (You might want to tie your hair up before you start this step. Possibly even before the previous step). Manuka honey is famed for its anti-fungal, anti-viral and anti-inflammatory qualities. There is nothing you have been doing with your face that it can’t deal with. So therefore, you will resist feeling like the start of a BBQ sauce marinade or a piece of toast, deep breathe and wait ten minutes for it to work its magic.

Four

While you are waiting, you can make your Gold Matcha mask. This little beauty is full of antioxidants and helps to plump and hydrate ageing, sun-damaged skin. Using a ceramic bowl and a wooden spoon, mix together half a teaspoon of matcha powder, a generous glug of colloidal gold and a teaspoon of our friend manuka honey. Mix together in a professional, spa-like manner.

Five

Climb into your bath and have a little relax.

Six

Take two fingers and gently tap on your sticky face. The tapping will “pull” out impurities. Give your face a wash… It should only take about 15 minutes to try and get all that honey off. Now you apply your Gold Matcha mask all over your face and neck. Lie back and do a bit more relaxing while you let the mask get to work.

Seven

You need to relax for about ten minutes so you might want to top up the hot water. After the time is up, use a flannel to wash off the mask. You might want to have several flannels to hand as honey is quite resistant to washing.

Eight

Now trail about your bathroom, bedroom and kitchen clearing up the smeared honey and matcha powder, wash the towels and flannels and don’t forget to blow out your candles. You probably won’t want to listen to Barry Manilow/whale music ever again.

Nine

Forget the whole thing, use your honey for a nice piece of hot buttered toast and try the Active Repair Nourishing Power Mask from Wildsmith Skin instead.