is a freelance editor and writer. He is a contributing editor to Condé Nast Traveller, and has been associate editor of GQ Style and Man About Town. He contributes to Mr & Mrs Smith and has written about all manner of things for The Telegraph, GQ, Literary Review and Time Out.
"Having played football last week for the first time in five years, I would like to restore myself to factory settings. Or at least back to, I don't know, the 1998 model when my body would at least vaguely do what my head told it to."
is a journalist, novelist and columnist and has contributed to a raft of magazines and newspapers, including The Times, The Guardian, The Spectator and The Observer. She also works for the British Red Cross as a community manager.
"I would change the way we view and exploit animals: I would ban the use of animals in circuses, and for sport, animal testing and tourist rides. I would close down the horrendous Sea World franchise, the Lychee and Dog Meat Festival in Yulin, China, and the corralling and slaughtering of dolphins in Taiji in Japan. I would also prohibit keeping birds in cages, dogs on chains, pigs in crates and cows in liquid shit all winter. There would be no more beasts of burden, tiny donkeys hauling huge amounts in searing heat. Trophy hunters would be imprisoned for life as would other people prosecuted for extreme cruelty to animals. We would take a serious look at the dairy industry and the current way we take calves away from their mothers, killing the males and keeping female cows pregnant all their lives just so we can drink milk. There are so many good alternatives to cow's milk now. If we had to eat meat we would find a kinder alternative to the abattoir, not that killing animals can ever be humane. This would just be the tip of the iceberg, but it’s a start. When we look back historically at our treatment of animals, future generations will be horrified."
is an aspiring young writer with a particular passion for healing and metaphysical medicine. This feature marks her first journalistic venture.
"Does this apply to my traitorous cat? I’d vote for ‘restore to factory settings’ in the vain hope that she’d move back in from the neighbours."